One of the trickiest parts of mentorship is choosing the right captain for your adventure. Why? Because you are not just pairing skills. Mentorship involves pairing people. Every mentor and mentee brings different perspectives, biases, values and schedules on board. Any relationship will face rough waters at times, so finding a balanced match increases your chances of navigating them better prepared and smoothly.
Second, a mentor is not simply someone older, wiser, or more successful. A meaningful mentorship happens when alignment, trust, and respect meet actionable guidance. After all, mentorship is a two-way street (read more about this in our previous post).
Finally, even with the best of intentions, the wrong mentor can steer you off course, holding you back rather than propelling you forward. Finding the right mentor will potentially lead you to unlock your full potential. And this is why this stage requires careful research, reflection, and strategy.
This article will help you create a four-step plan to identify the best mentor for your needs. Let’s start!
1. What Are You Looking For?
In the previous articles of this series, you navigated inward: identifying your core values, mission, and goals using OKRs and SMART frameworks. That work is your compass here. The question of “What am I looking for in a mentor?” is largely answered, you just need to consolidate it.
I invite you to revisit your worksheets.
From “Identifying your Mentorship Coordinates” check your answer for: how will my mentor help me? (e.g., developing technical skills, networking with VCs, launching a business).
From “Gearing up your vessel” check your answers for what challenges do you hope to overcome? (e.g., I have a hard time presenting data; I want to improve my assertiveness and communication).
💡Now, combine these into a clear statement without worrying about brevity. Use our new worksheet (📥 download it here) to draft your statement.
In the case of the PhD student in Nautical Engineering, his answer might be: “My goal is to found a startup after my PhD, but I lack entrepreneurial experience. I want to strengthen my communication and networking skills and identify a viable product. My mentor could help me by connecting me with VCs or startup founders, aligning my PhD project with relevant technical skills, and providing feedback on presentations and communication.”
2. Define Your Mentor Profile
To narrow your search, let’s sketch out a profile of your ideal mentor. A tiered system can help you focus on what truly matters. We can divide this into 2 main dimensions: Experience/Knowledge and Soft Skills/Mentorship Style.
💡 Within each topic, fill out the worksheet using these three categories to prioritize your needs:
Critical/Must-Have: these are non-negotiable qualities. (e.g., well-connected, experience in eco-friendly materials, shared values/work ethic)
Good-to-Have: these are qualities that would be a bonus. (e.g. empathetic, available for meetings, strategic mindset, a certain location).
No-Go: these are deal-breakers. Think about things you absolutely want to avoid. (e.g., micromanager, someone who promotes a 24/7 work culture, or a person that is non-communicative).
As you meet with potential mentors (👀 spoiler alert for our next post), you might discover new needs you were not aware of. For example, you might realize you value hybrid work-style to fulfill personal needs. But a potential mentor insists on you working constantly on-site. That is a red flag for you, and it should shift to your “No-Go” list.
Being flexible and open to refining your criteria will help you find the best possible match.
3. Build Your Mentor Prospect List
So far, you have made excellent progress. Now that you know what you are looking for in a mentor, it is time to start your search. Remember: a mentor does not need to provide all the answers themselves. But they should either have the ability to help you with the skills you need to develop or be able to connect you with the right people.
But where to prospect for a mentor?
Start with your network: you can find potential mentors directly through classes, talks, professional events, LinkedIn connections, alumni network from your University, or within people you already know.
Do your homework: this step takes effort, but it is essential. Before you reach out, research each person on your list: review their LinkedIn or academic profile, watch recorded talks (many are now available on Youtube, especially after the COVID pandemic), and read their work. If you share a mutual connection, reach out for a quick chat to get perspective on that potential mentor. This background check will help you assess whether their skills and style align with your criteria.
❗Note: keep in mind that a mentor who is the perfect captain for one sailor may not be the right fit for your voyage. So, always keep your values and goals in mind.
Create your list: based on your research, make a list of potential mentors and document their main strengths (Critical and Good-to-Have) and possible concerns (No-Go). This is your first draft, and you will make new notes once you start meeting with them.
💡 Fill out the worksheet with your curated list of mentors, and fill out the boxes referring to their potential strengths and concerns.
4. Reciprocity: What Are You Bringing to the Table?
Reciprocity means behavior in which two people or groups of people give each other help and advantages.
- Cambridge dictionary
Mentorship is a two-way voyage (as we discussed here). It means that the mentee is as committed and proactive as the mentor in the investment of this adventure. So, think about what you can offer a mentor. This can be extended beyond a direct exchange of skills and it can take many forms.
In this case, think about “What are you offering to the mentor?”. Considering the following 3 topics:
Technical skills (e.g., your hands-on expertise or access to methods your mentor does not use regularly)
Soft skills (e.g., being organized, a good communicator, offering a different perspective on team dynamics).
Learned/Fresh skills (e.g., you can share new knowledge, adapt quickly to emerging trends, help project with new techniques or extra support).
By considering what you can contribute, you show respect for the mentor’s time and lay the groundwork for a strong, lasting relationship.
Special Section: the Mentoring Board
When charting your course, remember that you can rely on more than one captain. Successful journeys can be guided by a “Mentoring Board”, which can include a co-mentor, a peer mentor, and/or a few trusted advisors who each bring unique strengths.
You can even make “openness to collaboration” one of your critical criteria when selecting a mentor. From the start, discuss whether they are comfortable with co-mentors or advisory mentors joining the process.
In the example of our PhD student, let’s imagine that their primary mentor is an expert in one area (e.g., eco-friendly materials), but less experienced in another (e.g., entrepreneurship). With the right connections, that mentor could introduce them to a startup incubator director, who becomes a co-navigator. Together, this crew offers a fuller map and steadier compass, thus helping the student reach their destination more effectively than a single guide could.
Final Thoughts
By following this suggested framework, you will have an organized strategy to find not just a mentor, but the right mentor. Even at the start of your career, you should not feel pressured to accept the first mentor who shows up at the dock. A true captain is willing, excited, and aligned with your journey.
Research shows that early-career mentorship often falls short of ideal because of mismatches, unmet expectations, and many mentees settling for less-than ideal mentors due to limited options123. But no matter where you are on your voyage, you deserve a captain who will help you chart a course that reflects your values and ambitions. Choose wisely, and the right mentor will have a lasting, positive impact on your career.
Be thoughtful. Be selective. Guard your goals as carefully as you would protect your ship in a storm.
⛵The sun is setting once again, and you are now prepared to seek your captain. In the next post, we will meet potential captains to launch your journey. Are you ready?
💬 Do you have suggestions on how to find the right mentor? Share in the comments.
⛵️Keep sailing with us! Subscribe so you don’t miss our next post…
🌊Feeling lost at sea? We’ve got your back. Message me using the link below or through my website
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25010230/
https://ascopubs.org/doi/10.1200/OP.22.00643
https://sciety.org/articles/activity/10.1101/2023.05.05.539640